A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

He wears glasses during math because it improves division.

I live in California, and my watch is three hours fast, I can't fix it, so I'm moving to New York.

It's better to love a short girl than not a tall.

Remember, today could just as easily be the LAST day of the rest of your life.

Somebody was running a flea circus, but a dog came and stole the show.