Proverbial
2 wrongs make a right, but 2 Wrights make an airplane.
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A drop of ink may make a million think.
A house divided cannot stand.
A lot of people who itch for success never want to scratch for it.
A man should live forever, or die trying.
A proverb is one man’s wit and all men’s wisdom.
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
A wise man never plays leap frog with a unicorn.
After all is said and done, more is said than done.
Always put your smile on. People will assume you are a crazy person and won’t mess with you.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away - only if you throw it hard enough.
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
Better the bear in the orchard than the orchard in the bear.
Better thought to be an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
Common sense is the least common of all senses.
Confucius says too much. -Recent Chinese Proverb
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Do not judge a book by it’s movie.
Don't try to meet trouble half way. It moves faster than you.
Don’t believe everything you think.
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket...put them in the fridge, then they will last longer.
Don’t spit into the wind.
Don’t steal, the government hates competition.
Don’t walk in my footsteps, I walk into walls.
Every wise person knows there is a wide ocean between words and deeds.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
Give some people an inch and they think they are rulers.
Gravity doesn’t exist, the earth sucks.
Gun Control: Use both hands.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
If it ain’t broke, take it apart and fix it.
If patience is a virtue, then patience can wait.
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
If you don’t choose one path, you might rip your pants.
If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
If you don’t know where to go, every road will take you there.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
If you’re in a bad mood, then you didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed. You fell off and hurt your head.In some cases, silence shouts louder than words.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
Life is like a coloring book. We’re sometimes out of the lines.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
Live every day like it is your last. Crawl into a corner and cry.
Maintainer’s Motto: If we can’t fix it, it ain’t broke.
Mistakes are a normal thing; unfortunately I am a very normal person
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Most people who fall in love with themselves have no rivals.
Moves in chess are like choices in life, we always make the wrong one.
Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.
Never take a pill that has more side effects than symptoms of the disease you’re treating.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Nothing is often a good thing to do, and is always a clever thing to say.
Obey your teachers; sometimes they might enforce the "dent" in student.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
Peace, that brief moment in history where everyone stands around reloading.
People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
Silence is like golden, but even gold gets old.
Take advantage of the situation.
The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Those who go to bed with an itchy bottom, wake up with smelly fingers.
Those who live by the sword...get shot by those who don’t.
Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students.
Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!
War is the science of destruction.
Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
Wear a watch and you’ll always know what time it is. Wear two watches and you’ll never be sure.
What’s popular isn’t always right, and what’s right isn’t always popular.
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
When life hands you lemons, try, try again, because a penny saved gathers no moss.
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
When you come to a fork in the road....Take it.
Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
Where there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives.
Whoever said "only love can break a heart" has never dropped a hotdog.
You can wish as long as you live but you can’t live as long as you wish.
Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep.