Technical
A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.
A computer without Windows is like a chocolate cake without mustard.
A paperless office has about as much use as a paperless bathroom.
A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.
An Apple a day keeps Windows away.
An engineer’s outlook on life: the glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it’s twice as big as it needs to be.
Another megabytes the dust.
Base 8 is just like base 10, if you are missing two fingers.
C://dos
C://dos.run
run.dos.run
Computers are a more fun way to do the same work you’d have to do without them.
Crashing is the only thing Windows does quickly.
Double your computer hard-drive space. Delete Windows!
Failure is not an option... it comes bundled with Windows.
Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
He dropped a computer on his toes and had megahertz.
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
I’m supposed to back up my hard drive, but how do I put it into reverse?
If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0
If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed... oh wait, he does.
If Microsoft made cars, every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
If Microsoft made cars, occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
If you take a laptop computer on a run, you might jog your memory.
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
Microsoft: You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
On the box of the computer I bought it said, "Install Windows 98 or greater," so I installed Linux.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
One man’s bug is another man’s feature.
One time when fixing an old PC, an error appeared that said "No keyboard signal, press Enter to continue."
Passwords are like underwear: you shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.
People say that if you play Microsoft CD’s backwards, you hear satanic things. But that’s nothing, because if you play them forwards they install Windows.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Resistance is futile (if < 1 ohm).
Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF, all my base are belong to you.
Talking to her about computer hardware I make my mother board.
There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works.
There’re only 10 kind of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
There’s an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no longer know how to use my telephone.
There’s no place like 127.0.0.1.
Unix, DOS and Windows...the good, the bad and the ugly.
Use The Best...Linux for Servers, Mac for Graphics, Palm for Mobility, Windows for Solitaire.
Why do you have to click on Start button to stop Windows XP?
You may be addicted to the Internet if you start using phrases like Hungry.must-eat.food.now@home.com.
Your PC makes a better door than a Windows.